Having a Life Outside Your Relationship
Why Having a Life Outside Your Relationship Makes Your Love Life Better
Hey beautiful,
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said enough in the relationship world—having a full, vibrant, rich life outside of your romantic relationship can actually make that relationship better. Whether you’re deep in love, dating someone new, or even casually seeing multiple people, what you do outside the relationship matters… a lot.
And not just for your own happiness (which is reason enough), but because it completely shifts your vibe—and the way others, especially men, respond to you.
Let me explain.
You Are the Main Character, Always
When we fall for someone, it’s easy to start orbiting around them. Suddenly, your world starts to shrink. You cancel plans, lose touch with your girlfriends, maybe even skip out on things you love doing because you’d rather be with him.
But the truth is, that magnetic, feminine energy he was drawn to in the first place? It came from a woman who had a life. A woman who was glowing from within, not waiting for his texts to feel validated. A woman who was fulfilled, radiant, interesting, and free.
When you stay connected to you—your passions, your people, your purpose—you stay connected to that energy. And that energy? It’s irresistible.
Dating Others Can Be Healing (Yes, Even While You’re Figuring Things Out)
Now I know this might be a little controversial—but I’m going to say it anyway: it’s okay to date other people. Especially if you’re not in a committed relationship yet or you’re in a “situationship” that’s dragging on with no clear direction.
Dating others isn’t about playing games or being disloyal. It’s about expanding your energy. It’s about reminding yourself that there are options, that you don’t need to fixate on one person to feel worthy or desired. It’s about healing scarcity mindset and stepping into abundance—not just in love, but in life.
You start showing up differently. You’re not desperate for someone’s time or crumbs of affection because you have other sources of joy and connection.
What “Having a Life” Actually Looks Like
You don’t need to be constantly jet-setting or booked back-to-back with events to have a fulfilling life. Sometimes, having a life outside your relationship just looks like:
Going to brunch with your girls and not texting him the whole time
Taking a dance class that lights your soul on fire
Starting that creative project you’ve been putting off
Saying yes to new experiences, even if he’s not into them
Making space to meet new people—romantic or not
When you do this, you naturally come back to your relationship with more to offer—not because you’re trying harder, but because you’re more you. More vibrant. More centered. More magnetic.
The Shift That Happens
When you’re living fully and loving yourself deeply, something shifts. The dynamic changes. You stop chasing and start attracting. You’re no longer anxiously attached—you’re anchored. That’s when healthy relationships thrive. That’s when the right person leans in—because you’re not trying to be chosen. You’re choosing yourself first.
So if you’ve been feeling off in your relationship, or like you’re losing your sparkle a bit—ask yourself: when’s the last time I did something just for me?
Reclaim your life. Date around if that feels aligned. Call your friends. Say yes to joy. You are not here to shrink yourself for a man. You’re here to be all of you—and let love meet you there.
With love and wild feminine power,
Janine